A TRUE LIFE STORY BY: AYA KENI
I actually married as a virgin o, thanks to having a strict mum who would not endorse me having boyfriends until after university, being a born-again Christian, praise and worship leader, hearing the word of God daily aided me (I had my fair share of temptations too, so l am no saint here).
I had two kids less than 1 year and l found out l was pregnant again. Oh my God, my husband, and l were not ready for this. We then came to a decision to terminate it. I secretly wanted my husband to say no but…. I prayed earnestly for a miscarriage but, nothing happened.
I went to the hospital but the doctor touched my tummy and said it was hard, that l was too far gone. ‘Go and do a scan’, he said. I went for the scan hoping the doctor will say he would not carry it out but my scan showed 6 weeks, EDD to be October 2009 and the hardness was as a result of a fibroid. He scheduled the next day which happened to be our wedding anniversary. I was hoping something will happen to prevent the procedure but alas the day came. I went in and l was disgusted at the site of the ‘area’, which was a far-cry from the hospital where l delivered (it was a popular hospital o but with old and archaic equipment). My legs were spread apart and he put the ‘thing’ inside of me and drilling things out. I moaned with pain. My body quivered in unimaginable soreness when the action was taking place. The painful part for me was that my hubby was not there with me. I went in alone. I cried out of the theater, out of the hospital, in the taxi cab, till l got home, cried and cried asking God for forgiveness.
When l got home and the realities set in, ‘what have l done?’ l asked myself. Abortion! Yeepppa… I cried and cried. I do not know of others who have experienced it but l did not heal of it for years. I could not receive God’s forgiveness. I healed physically after two weeks as l was given antibiotics and painkillers but the next months and years were bad as it was full of emotional soreness and guilt. I went back to the hospital to have family planning in place to avoid any more mistakes. The site of the hospital building reminded me of those horrors.
Two years later, the craving for another child won’t leave me. I decided l was ready and l removed family planning but pregnancy won’t come. The next following years were filled with self-guilt. Every menses was a constant reminder of my sin. People’s display of new-born ‘dp’ put a prick in my heart as a sinner. I was jealous of people pregnant and celebration of babies. Although l had two other children but l wanted a child like a woman who never had one. I prayed and prayed, l would not let go.
Finally; l got pregnant. Oh my God! It was like a dream. This pregnancy for me was a sign that God had forgiven me and given me a clean slate. You know what, not only did l fall pregnant again, l found out on our wedding anniversary and guess what EDD was October (again). Do l need any more sign of God faithfulness and forgiveness?
I am not writing this to celebrate abortion. I never in a million year thought l would be part of it, l was disappointed in myself but that experience made me realize that ‘he that thinks he stands take heed lest he fall’.
Abortion shouldn’t be the last option, it is horrible, and it’s like acting in a horror movie. Unfortunately, people don’t talk about it especially in this part of the world. Many times we hear that “Don’t have sex before marriage so that you won’t have to abort and if you get pregnant, birth the child”. But there is another part which is for married women who have unwanted pregnancies, don’t abort!
Get family planning in place before sex resumes after childbirth.
Also stop this rubbish of what people will say, for example, people will say “na every year you dey born ni” (Do you give birth yearly?)? “are you a baby factory?” etc. These people you are mindful of won’t be there where you are reaping the harvest of your guilt but will surely shut up their mouths when you are reaping the harvest of a God-sent child. Also you yourself should stop making fun of people, trust me a silly comment is the last thing a pregnant woman wants to hear. Abortion, D & C is horrible except if your heart is made of stone. Many of us have heard stories of a child that a woman wanted to abort but turned out to be the most celebrated. Some may never have a second chance like me but in all, do know that God is a loving father and not a taskmaster waiting for your mistake. In your mistake, do rise above it and don’t go back to the sin.
Contact Aya Keni on: email@example.com