Mr Nigeria launches surprising campaign against domestic violence

Written by: Ayokunle Olagoke

8:45p.m; April 29, 2016


The neighbors gather outside, downstairs, in a mournful state. Health officials step out of the ambulance to carry the victim, Mimi (33), on a stretcher. Her body is covered with a white cloth. Two kids are noticeable as Sean (8), the elder screams uncontrollably. At the sight of the victim, he suddenly embraces Paul (4), the younger child. He covers Paul’s face to prevent him from seeing the victim. The policemen are on the scene, they walk down hastily from upstairs with Tamono (38) handcuffed; an innocently looking young man. They seal up the crime scene with a tape, observing it critically with their bright light. The detective wearing gloves, picks up a broken tooth, after further search, he picks up broken pieces of glass as well. The women at the scene embrace the two children and take them to one of the apartments downstairs.

8:02p.m; April 29, 2016


The compound is lively. Some adults are downstairs in their singlets and boxers, some with wrappers. The only apartment with light is the one upstairs, the other apartments have lesser light sources. Suddenly, a huge sound is heard. A female body drops from the two-story building upstairs to the ground with a knife dropping from her hand as she falls.

7:28p.m; April 29, 2016


Mimi is in front of the mirror, her face made up. She moves closer to the mirror to access the bruises on her face and hand. Tamono walks in carrying her bag for her. He appears remorseful. He stands behind her, she can see him from the mirror in front of her


Bae… you’re still not saying anything.

I think we need to change that hospital,

let’s get a new place, I don’t like the

way they stare at us whenever we go

there, the nurses look mischievous

Mimi shakes her head as tears roll down her face. Tamono quickly goes down on his knees, grabs her two hands


Bae… don’t cry again, please. Look, I

am deeply sorry, I don’t know how it

happens but trust me I am seriously

working on it, believe me when I say I

love you deeply


No Tamono, (Sniffs as her tears flow

down faster) I don’t think we need to

change the hospital.


What do you suggest then Bae?


I suggest you go see a therapist who

will take you through how to express

your anger in a healthy way, how to quit

beating your wife… Sean’s teacher

called me, she says Sean has been

sleeping in class all week, when he was

asked; guess what he told his teacher,

the boy is smart, he told the teacher he

doesn’t get to sleep at night. No, this

is our fault, we are responsible…

Tamono gets up on his knees at this point


Hold it! Look I am not a kid, I have 9

years experience as a lawyer (points his

finger at her face in anger) when people

say it is our fault, what they mean is

that it is your fault and it is not my

fault! okay? I will not take that!

By now, Mimi gets on her feet


Tamono, this week has been hell for me.

I am getting tired Tamono, I am getting

tired! Look at my body, look at the

bruises… Tamono see my face, who put

them there?

Tamono moves closer to her face, raising his voice


You put them there! You put them there

the day you decided to marry me




Yes! Did I pretend to you? I showed you

my real self before I married you. This

has been happening before we got

married. Tell me I had not raised my

hands against you before I married you

here. We make choices, you made a choice

to live with me and to the best of my

knowledge I am working on the damn anger

thing! Who the hell has nothing they are

working on anyway?


Tamono, you are a shameless beast! You

bastard have the effrontery to say such

gibberish! Is it until you kill me? You

of all people should have an idea of

what human right means

He gives her a heavy slap with the back of his hand


I will teach you how to talk

respectfully to your husband

She makes her way to the sitting room, Tamono runs after her, she manages to lock the passage door to prevent him from getting to her before proceeding to the sitting room where the children are watching the TV


Sean! (Panting heavily) take your

brother to the room now! Go!

Sean is looking confused. He carries the younger brother who looks unaware of what is happening


Make sure you don’t come out until I ask you to

Suddenly, they hear a loud noise like the door has been forcefully opened. Tamono bursts into the sitting room sweating


You know you are dead right?

He approaches her in the presence of the children and punches her. She struggles to free herself. Sean covers his brother’s face


Take your brother in! Go in! We will be


Tamono continues to hit her


Even if you make more money than I do,

that still doesn’t mean I am not your



Tamono you are hurting me!

She finally breaks out, sights a knife on the dining table, makes her way there, picks the knife to defend herself.


That’s right! yes, come on now, come and

stab your husband

He moves closer to her as she walks back gradually towards the corridor outside the sitting room which is partially covered by a cracked glass


Don’t come near me Tamono, don’t make me

do this


I want you to do it, I want your news to

be on the dailies- the woman with two

kids who murders her husband with a


He approaches her speedily, struggles to take the knife from her, by now Sean is behind him with a big encyclopedia, he hits it on his father from behind. Tamono looks back and pushes him away. Mimi loses a tight grip on the knife at the sight of Sean stumbling. Tamono takes advantage of the moment, in an attempt to pull Mimi closer and snatch the knife off her hand, he pulls her too hard, her head hits the cracked glass at the corridor and she falls from the two story building to the ground floor with the knife falling alongside with her downstairs. Tamono is shocked to his bones, he finds it hard to believe his eyes. As she hits the ground with her mouth open, one of her tooth falls off


Thank you for reading.

This is a dissemination of the research work of Yusuf O.B, Arulogun O.S, and Oladepo. O, the full work can be downloaded here:

Examples of organizations that attempt to provide support for victims of domestic violencein Nigeria are:

Project Alert on Violence Against Women

Mirabel Center, Lagos

Women Action Organization

Women’s Centre for Peace and Development

Women’s Rights Advancement and Protection Alternative






I actually married as a virgin o, thanks to having a strict mum who would not endorse me having boyfriends until after university, being a born-again Christian, praise and worship leader, hearing the word of God daily aided me (I had my fair share of temptations too, so l am no saint here).

I had two kids less than 1 year and l found out l was pregnant again. Oh my God, my husband, and l were not ready for this. We then came to a decision to terminate it. I secretly wanted my husband to say no but…. I prayed earnestly for a miscarriage but, nothing happened.

I went to the hospital but the doctor touched my tummy and said it was hard, that l was too far gone. ‘Go and do a scan’, he said. I went for the scan hoping the doctor will say he would not carry it out but my scan showed 6 weeks, EDD to be October 2009 and the hardness was as a result of a fibroid. He scheduled the next day which happened to be our wedding anniversary. I was hoping something will happen to prevent the procedure but alas the day came. I went in and l was disgusted at the site of the ‘area’, which was a far-cry from the hospital where l delivered (it was a popular hospital o but with old and archaic equipment). My legs were spread apart and he put the ‘thing’ inside of me and drilling things out. I moaned with pain. My body quivered in unimaginable soreness when the action was taking place. The painful part for me was that my hubby was not there with me. I went in alone. I cried out of the theater, out of the hospital, in the taxi cab, till l got home, cried and cried asking God for forgiveness.

When l got home and the realities set in, ‘what have l done?’ l asked myself. Abortion! Yeepppa… I cried and cried. I do not know of others who have experienced it but l did not heal of it for years. I could not receive God’s forgiveness. I healed physically after two weeks as l was given antibiotics and painkillers but the next months and years were bad as it was full of emotional soreness and guilt. I went back to the hospital to have family planning in place to avoid any more mistakes. The site of the hospital building reminded me of those horrors.

Two years later, the craving for another child won’t leave me. I decided l was ready and l removed family planning but pregnancy won’t come. The next following years were filled with self-guilt. Every menses was a constant reminder of my sin. People’s display of new-born ‘dp’ put a prick in my heart as a sinner. I was jealous of people pregnant and celebration of babies. Although l had two other children but l wanted a child like a woman who never had one. I prayed and prayed, l would not let go.

Finally; l got pregnant. Oh my God! It was like a dream. This pregnancy for me was a sign that God had forgiven me and given me a clean slate. You know what, not only did l fall pregnant again, l found out on our wedding anniversary and guess what EDD was October (again). Do l need any more sign of God faithfulness and forgiveness?

I am not writing this to celebrate abortion. I never in a million year thought l would be part of it, l was disappointed in myself but that experience made me realize that ‘he that thinks he stands take heed lest he fall’.

Abortion shouldn’t be the last option, it is horrible, and it’s like acting in a horror movie. Unfortunately, people don’t talk about it especially in this part of the world. Many times we hear that “Don’t have sex before marriage so that you won’t have to abort and if you get pregnant, birth the child”. But there is another part which is for married women who have unwanted pregnancies, don’t abort!

Get family planning in place before sex resumes after childbirth.

Also stop this rubbish of what people will say, for example, people will say “na every year you dey born ni” (Do you give birth yearly?)? “are you a baby factory?” etc. These people you are mindful of won’t be there where you are reaping the harvest of your guilt but will surely shut up their mouths when you are reaping the harvest of a God-sent child. Also you yourself should stop making fun of people, trust me a silly comment is the last thing a pregnant woman wants to hear. Abortion, D & C is horrible except if your heart is made of stone. Many of us have heard stories of a child that a woman wanted to abort but turned out to be the most celebrated. Some may never have a second chance like me but in all, do know that God is a loving father and not a taskmaster waiting for your mistake. In your mistake, do rise above it and don’t go back to the sin.

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photo credit: Pau Myhill blog

When the innocence of a child is stolen…

Written by Ayokunle Olagoke


Mrs. Tinto is sitting in front of the dressing mirror, making herself up for the outing while Tofunmi stands right behind her with her reading glasses on her face alongside its attached black ropes


Mummy, our teacher said we should pay 500 Naira towards the inter-house sports competition tomorrow, for Junior and me, it’s 1000 Naira because we are 2

Mrs. Tinto keeps rubbing her powder on her face as if she did not hear her


Where is Junior?


(Looking unhappy now)

He’s playing ball outside




Mummy, I said our teacher said we should…


(cuts in angrily)

Tofunmi I am not deaf, you are just telling me now,


I told daddy last week before he traveled and he said he will give me


Ehen, am I your daddy?


Mummy now

(looking really sad)

our teacher said our parents can call her if they can’t give us the money tomorrow


Just leave me alone Tofunmi, em…Uncle Julius I’m going to church for Bible study, please make sure they do their assignments and Tofunmi tell your brother, if Uncle Julius reports any of you to me when I return, I will deal with you.

Tofunmi angrily enters her room and slams the door

                                                                                                                                                                            20 minutes later

Uncle Julius walks to Tofunmi’s room, knocks at the door and there is no response, he opens the door quietly, the poor little girl is lying on her bed with her pillow partly soaked with tears.


Are you crying?


I don’t want to be the only person who won’t have the money

Uncle Julius brings out 1000 naira note from his pocket with a broad smile. Tofunmi is brightened and overwhelmed, she stretches out her hand to grab it with excitement but he quickly swipes his hand backward.


Not like that, before I give you we will play,

(with a suspicious smile)


Ok… ok!

(She is booming with excitement and ready to do anything to make that 1000 Naira hers)

What kind of play, is it hide and seek?


No, it’s called “ere agba” I will teach you


Ok. But will you give me the money after we play?


Sure! This is it

(he puts the money under her pillow)


Thank you! Thank you!


Alright, this is how to do the play, you must never tell anyone, you will take off your clothes now, oya remove it…

(She removes her top hastily)

Wow! You are a big girl, and you are only in primary 3. Okay now your pants, I will also take off mine

(he hurriedly starts to undress himself)

Now lie down, don’t worry it won’t pain you ok? I will be gentle.

As he is about putting her head to the pillow, Junior pushes the door open, sees the two of them in an awkward posture, looking confused. Uncle Julius jumps himself up, grabs his boxers and quickly puts it on


Junior shhh (putting his finger to his lips)


What are you doing? I will tell mummy


Junior look, I will give you your inter-house sport money

Junior dashes out of the house


The highest prevalence rate of child sexual abuse geographically was found in Africa (34.4 %.)

One in 20 children (4.8%) has experienced contact sexual abuse.

Over 90% of children, who experienced sexual abuse, were abused by someone they knew.

More than one in three children (34%) who experienced contact sexual abuse by an adult did not tell anyone else about it.

Four out of five children (82.7%) who experienced contact sexual abuse from a peer did not tell anyone else about it.

The way out: educate your children both male and female, parents should educate their children and not think they are too young. Avoid leaving them with strangers.

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